“When he says, ‘I’m not used to being cared for,’ believe him — and move slowly.”
- Binta Alleyene-Green
- May 14
- 1 min read
So many men walk into relationships carrying silent grief:
-from mothers who were emotionally unavailable,
-from partners who mocked or minimized their vulnerability,
-from a world that only rewarded them for being “tough.”
When care enters the picture—gentle, consistent, and real—it can feel foreign. Even threatening.
He may flinch at softness.
He may dismiss kindness.
He may sabotage closeness because safe love feels unsafe to a nervous system used to bracing for the worst.
This isn’t always a sign he doesn’t care.
It’s a sign he doesn’t know how to receive care without fear.
Here’s the truth:
Men deserve healing, too.
But it isn’t your job to prove you’re safe.
It’s his work to recognize safety—and learn to stay.
If you’re dating someone who’s experienced relationship trauma, remember:
Love alone can’t heal someone.
But mutual emotional responsibility can.
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